Singapore Fried Noodles – A Hong Kong Invention

When I was a student overseas, I cooked practically everyday once term ended. The cafeteria was open during the holidays, but the food was pretty ghastly because most students had gone home. One of the most regular dishes was spaghetti Bolognese. This was typically served on a Monday, with nothing else available. Take it or leave it, I guess, and most people chose the latter.

Come Tuesday, leftover spaghetti would be chopped up, mixed with the leftover sauce, then chucked in the oven with a mashed potato topping. Cottage pie, anyone?

On Wednesday, another transformation would take place. Cottage pie from the previous day was mixed up, once again, and used as the filling for Cornish pasties. These gigantic curry-puffs-without-curry-powder were originally made for miners' lunch, eaten down in the mines. Traditional Cornish pasties, apparently, could be dropped down a mineshaft without breaking! It was a tradition that the cafeteria proudly kept with rock hard pastry that could, according to one legend, stand up to a sledge hammer. These torpedo-like casings filled with sloppy, unrecognizable blobs that started life as spaghetti Bolognese would be served Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. By the weekend, if the cafeteria were open, I swear the students would have revolted and burnt it to the ground!

Faced with the atrocious cafeteria food, I preferred to rustle up something simple and quick, and so did most of the other students. Naturally, we took the chance to learn new dishes from one another when we cooked. I taught a Hong Kong friend how to make Hong Kong Fried Noodles. In turn, he showed me the authentic version of Singapore Fried Noodles. I was astounded to hear that Hong Kong didn't have Hong Kong Fried Noodles. Just as my friend was astounded to learn that I had never heard of Singapore Fried Noodles. Which probably originated in Hong Kong, by the way. But I guess lots of dishes have misleading names, like Indian rojak which isn't from India, and French fries which aren't really French.

I've made Singapore Fried Noodles many times, and find that crisp curry leaves add a nice, Singaporean touch. They're not in the original Hong Kong recipe but what do Hong Kongers know about Singapore Fried Noodles, eh?

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Big Black Coke	Minced Pork Omelette	Pork Belly Stew	Black Cod Miso

Curry Leaf Cashews – And a Nutty Lost Finale

Sat down with a bowl of cashews last night and watched the finale for Lost. What a stupid ending! Finale? More like fiasco.

The last episode basically said what happened on the island really happened, and everyone eventually died.

So how did the strange things on the island come about? No answers. They just did.

Did Lost owe the audience some real answers? Hell yes! I wanted to know how an island could be moved by turning a wheel. Couldn't attribute that to inexplicable supernatural forces that somehow moved the island since there was a manmade wheel involved, right? Can we move Singapore to somewhere cooler?

Leaving a gazillion questions in the air was just such a cop-out. A whodunit ending with 'we don't know!' Absolute insult to fans – or fools? – who had been following the series for the past six years.

I felt cheated. Lost was, to quote Sawyer, a 'long con'. I wasn't a happy kitty:



The cashews with curry leaves were good though:



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Feeling Crabby?	Black Silkie Chicken Soup	Cheese is Good for You	Steamed Crabs

Tea Eggs – All It's Cracked Up To Be, and More

When I first started doing yoga during lunch break, I noticed my energy levels fluctuated wildly. Some days, I was raring to go like the Duracell bunny. Other days, I felt deflated and tired. After observing the ups and downs for a while, I spotted a pattern. On days when I was 'va-va-vroom', I had an egg for breakfast. On days when I felt tired and listless, I didn't have an egg or skipped breakfast totally (shouldn't do that, I know). An egg, with less than 100 calories, made all the difference. I was quite amazed.

Now, I always have an egg a few hours before I work out. I've chucked away those sugar loaded energy bars which are really not that healthy. An egg keeps me going and going, as the Duracell ad says. In fact, it gives me not just physical energy but also, er, creative energy:

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
Threescore men and threescore more,
Could not place Humpty as he was before.

Poor Humpty sat in a pot,
Filled with spices I had bought.
Three whole hours and three more,
Till he was tasty to the core.

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Braised Duck	Apple Brown Betty	Smoked Soft-Boiled Eggs	Asparagus with Sesame Miso

Chocolate Chip Cookies – Don't Mind If I Do

A lady was waiting for her flight at an airport. As it was a long wait, she bought a book and a bag of cookies to while away the time.

She put her things in a chair and sat down to enjoy the book. A man came along, and he took the seat next to her belongings.

After a while, the young woman took her first cookie. Much to her surprise, the man took one as well. 'He's eating my cookies without even asking!' she thought.

A few moments later, the lady took another cookie, then another. Every time she took one, the man followed suit. She was getting really annoyed, but didn't want to make a scene.

Finally, there was only one cookie left in the bag. 'I dare you to take the last one!' she silently challenged the man. As she looked at him – secretly, of course – he really took the remaining cookie!

The young lady was now hopping mad. Before she could say anything, however, the man broke the cookie into two pieces and gave her one. 'How nice! Sharing my cookie with me!' the woman thought indignantly. She accepted the half piece of cookie but glared fixedly at the man, hoping to make him feel ashamed. But he didn't. He just smiled at her and returned to his magazine.

After the lady boarded her flight, she opened her bag to look for her lipstick. To her horror, a bag of cookies, still unopened, was in her bag! She had been eating a stranger's cookies instead of her own, right down to the last piece. Unlike her, however, the stranger didn't mind at all.
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Triple Chocolate Cookies	Gingerbread Men	Chewy Oatmeal Cookies	Almond Biscotti

Sesame Chicken – As My Mother Taught Me

According to my mother, my Sesame Chicken was better than hers. Which was a bit strange since, as far as I could see, we cooked the dish in exactly the same way. 'No! There's something different. Yours is much nicer,' she said.

Flattery gets you everywhere, they say. Well, it certainly got me trotting into the kitchen to stir-fry some chicken with sesame oil. And whilst I was at it, I might as well whip up a couple of side dishes and a soup. All of which I excelled in, according to the woman who gave me life. Oh yes, my mother was a sly one! She knew exactly which buttons to press, so that I would do first one dish, then the entire dinner. All without nagging, only praise and positive encouragement. And I fell for it every single time, happily.

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Salmon Teriyaki	Garlic Bread	Garlic Butter Prawns	Deep-Fried Kai Lan (Chinese Kale)

Hand Shredded Sweet Leaves (Manis Cai) – No Sweat

Look what I found yesterday! I wandered over to a market in the neighborhood, a few minutes from the one I usually go to, and saw a huge pile of manis cai (马尼菜). Of course, I had to get some. Aka sweet leaves, Sabah vegetables, Indian gooseberry and a host of other names, these dark green leaves are quite rare. Between the two markets near my place, only one vegetable stall sells it, and it's seldom seen in supermarkets.

'Why don't more people sell this?' I asked the lady as she brutally bent the stalks of manis cai, which were as long as my arms, so that she could stuff 'em in a plastic bag.

'Most people don't know how to cook 马尼菜 lah,' she said gruffly.

Really? Gosh, that's such a shame because stir fried 马尼菜 is really tasty. But it involves an interesting step that some people might not know about. Manis cai has to be torn into little pieces by hand, then salted so that the bitter juices in the leaves are sweated out. Without this treatment, you may think they should be called bitter leaves instead of sweet leaves.

Dark green vegetables usually need to be cooked with lots of oil, and manis cai is no exception. For four portions, I use five tablespoonfuls. That's quite a lot but without so much oil, the leaves would taste dry and pulpy.

I can get away with less fat if I use lard, which is richer and smoother than vegetable oil. But who can be bothered to render pork fat nowadays? Tick tick tick tick . . . . (That's my mind ticking away.) Hmm, maybe I can buy a cup of lard next time I have a plate of char kway teow?

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Mushroom Stir-Fry	Tomatoes with Sesame Wasabi Sauce	Roasted Eggplant with Miso	Asparagus with Hollandaise Sauce

Chemical Warfare?

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'Run for your life! Take cover!'
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'WHAT is that?'
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'Is it a chemical weapon? Stop breathing!'
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The polite ones didn't say anything, but their eyes widened with amazement. The rude ones pinched their noses and backed away with horror. My cats just scooted off and hid themselves.

Seriously, I think the reaction was rather exaggerated. Come on, how about a bit of support for someone slaving away in the kitchen? Admittedly, the mutton smelt a bit . . . . Ok, it was more than a bit, to be honest. The entire house was filled with the smell of what was simmering away on the stove. It was like a hundred sheep had squashed themselves into my little kitchen.

But I really don't think anyone had to mention stinkbomb. And it wasn't a chemical weapon, ok? The person who said it was a damn good idea for one is banned from my dining table for three months, ok?

Some ungrateful people didn't take to the mutton stew, but my neighbour liked it very much. 'Woof! Woof!' See? That's him saying, 'Thank you! I loved it!' A true connoisseur showing his appreciation, I tell ya.

'Mel, you can come out now. The smell's gone.'

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'Like hell I am!'
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Salmon Teriyaki	Chocolate Brownies	Braised Shark's Fin Melon	Five-Spice Almonds

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