Glutinous Rice with Chicken – And Pleasure

To me, a kitchen is just a kitchen. To those who don't cook, a kitchen might be a storeroom for chocolates, ice-cream and instant noodles. To women in the old days, a kitchen might be a prison.

So who calls a kitchen 'a pleasure palace', where she wants to 'give pleasure'?

Guess?

It's none other than Nigella Lawson, the original Domestic Goddess. The Queen of Food Porn who effortlessly makes love to her food in her 'interior garden of sensual delights' – that's kitchen again to you and me, the shameless voyeurs. And Nigella Lawson is as lovely as ever – even though she's 50 this year; even though she's f-a-t and fatter than ever.

And cooking ain't just cooking to The Fat Seductress. It's 'about touch and feel, occupying – tangibly – the realm of the senses.'

Tangibly? Really? I guess what's tangible to a goddess is different from mere mortals like me.

The Queen of Food Porn doesn't just eat or dine. Nope, Goddess Lawson has 'extra occasions of pleasure' with 'the melting intensity of a chocolate lime cake, dolloped shamelessly with margarita cream'.

Hmm, Freudian slip? Or a Freudian whack on the head?

Slut's Spaghetti – Nigella's rendition of Pasta Alla Puttanesca, which actually means Whore's Spaghetti – is called Slut's Spaghetti because of its, uh, 'robust saltiness'!

Oh dear, no comment.

In case you're wondering, the Queen of Food Porn is hyperventilating publicly because she's plugging her new book, Kitchen: Recipes from the Heart of the Home. Read her (almost pornographic) article here.

Meanwhile, back in my not-very-palatial kitchen, I steamed some glutinous rice with chicken for dinner. It was the shortcut version, so no mucking around with lotus leaves. And the rice wasn't soaked although everyone says soak the rice, anything from 2 hours to overnight. Trust me, you don't have to if you don't want to. Just cut up the ingredients, marinade the chicken, and steam. It was quite 'pleasurable' even though it wasn't done in a palace or garden, interior or otherwise. Don't think it was sensual though, by any stretch of the imagination. But it wasn't the food's fault, of course. I just haven't got Nigella Lawson's doe eyes! Sob!

Check these out:

Chicken Bee Hoon Soup	Suan Pan Zi (Hakka Abacus Seeds)	Chinese Olive Fried Rice	Singapore Fried Noodles

Assam (Tamarind) Prawns – I Heart

I heart prawns. Not quite to the extent of wearing a T-shirt or hat that says 'I prawns' but if I did, I would wear one to a steamboat buffet that serves a free flow of prawns. Imagine the restaurant's reaction! 'Sorry, we're full!'





I love prawns every which way. All the way from live (!), to raw, steamed, poached, stir fried, pan fried, deep fried, grilled and baked. Not forgetting dried prawns, which I can't live without. Stinky and fermented shrimp paste? Bring it on! Pickled cincalok? Can't get enough! Honestly, there's no such thing as bad prawns, so long as they're fresh and not overcooked. Yup, even dried, fermented and pickled prawns must be made with the freshest catch if you want quality stuff.

I really can't say Assam/Tamarind Prawns is my favourite way of eating prawns, 'cause I love 'em done whatever way. But, as I write this post (Saturday, 4 pm), I'm drooling as I think about the Assam Prawns I just had for lunch. The tangy sweetness of the tamarind sauce, the succulence of the prawns, the aroma from pan-frying the prawns in their shells . . . . Oh boy, that's the killer! Assam Prawns must have shells, ok? It just ain't the same without shells!

I think I'm hungry again. Oh dear, I wish the photos were edible! Om nom nom nom . . . .

Sadly, I have no more prawns in the fridge. Otherwise, I would have Assam Prawns again for dinner. Dang! Too bad I can't eat the photos. Dang again!



Note to self: Set the alarm clock, get up early tomorrow morning – Sunday! – and buy the freshest prawns at the market. Meanwhile, stop drooling!

Check these out:

Drunken Prawns	Garlic Butter Prawns	Prawns with Salted Egg Yolks	Prawns with Red Fermented Beancurd

Odalisque Wannabe

Oooh . . . . I don't know, Mac. I don't see any smoke. I don't think your butt is smouldering but it's a very good size, almost as round as the odalisque's!

In case you don't know, Odalisques were concubines' servants in Turkish harems. They were popular models for painters in the 19th century. La Grande Odalisque, now housed in the Louvre, was painted in 1814 by French painter Jean Auguste Dominique Ingres.

Painting isn't really my thing, unless it's 'anything goes' (otherwise known as 'abstract' which even elephants can do). And I couldn't get any model to pose in her birthday suit, thank god. So I whipped out my camera and woke up Mac – who is always sleeping, in the nude – with a tap on her back. She turned around, the camera went 'ka-cha', and voila! La Grande Odalisque recreated, feline and photo version!

Hmm, I wonder if the Louvre would be interested in adding La Grande Mac to its collection?.

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Herbal Roast Chicken – Moist and Juicy Spatchcock

'Spatchcock?' I said, a bit warily. I was talking to the chicken guy at the market, who was asking me how I wanted my chicken cut up. The young chap – a mainland Chinese – didn't understand the word 'spatchcock'. I tried again, this time in my limited Chinese, 'Er, make it look like a butterfly?' He stared at me like I was insane. 'Frog? Make it look like a frog?'

Chicken Guy had no time for insane customers talking about butterflies and frogs 'cause he was selling chickens and ducks. It was Sunday morning, his busiest time of the week. The market was heaving. 'Cut into two pieces?' he suggested.

'NOOO! NO!' Dang! What is 'spatchcock' in Chinese? I decided to try a less abstract explanation. 'Ok, cut out the bone in the back.' I pointed at my own backbone as I spoke. Chicken Guy finally understood what I wanted. He lifted his knife and, just as he was swinging into action, I yelled, 'DON'T CUT THE FRONT! Only the back!' Chicken Guy jumped visibly, and he gave me a dirty, 'I know' look. Whaaat? It's better to be clear than sorry, right? The surly chap turned to his chopping board again and in two seconds flat, held up a beautifully spatchcocked chicken. 'Yes! That's what I want! What do you call a chicken cut like that?'

'I don't know.' What? They don't do spatchcocks in China? I bet they don't do smiles either!

Since that little episode at the market, I've learnt how to make chickens look like frogs/butterflies. You know, in case I want one in Russia or Zimbabwe where chicken guys might not understand what I say. Or in Desert Island where there's no chicken guy, presumably. Nothing to it at all! Here's a video:



I've got a few tricks up my sleeve for making sure that roast chickens are juicy and moist:

Use spatchcocks, because they cook faster and more evenly than whole chickens. Less time spent in the oven means the birds have less time to dry out.

Brine overnight. The chicken is moist with the brine solution it absorbs. It also cooks faster after it's brined.

Air dry the chicken before roasting. This helps the skin brown faster and shortens the roasting time.

Air drying also helps the meat side brown faster. The crust formed seals in the juices. For this to happen, the chicken has to be roasted on a rack instead of sitting directly on the pan.

Prop up the bottom and sides of the chicken with parchment paper balls, so that the top of the bird is as flat as possible.

Use the right temperature and roasting time so that the meat is just cooked and the skin is brown and crisp at the same time and in the shortest time possible. For a 1 kg brined, air dried spatchcock, that's 220°C for 35-40 minutes. If the chicken is much bigger, not spatchcocked, not air dried or not brined, the ideal temperature and roasting time would be different.

Making a juicy roast chicken is easy. I swear, even the breast meat can be plump and moist! And, despite my long-winded notes, the preparation is all done in about 10 minutes. It's 10 very rewarding minutes once you get it right!

Check these out:

Oyakodon	Sesame Chicken	Chicken & Apple Stir-Fry	Ayam Sioh (Chicken with Tamarind & Coriander Seeds)

Lucky Devils

In 1979, Brenda Ann Spencer killed two adults and injured eight children and one police officer. When asked why she fired at random in the school playground in San Diego, the 16-year-old kid said, 'I don't like Mondays.' The kid is now a middle-aged woman, still serving time.

I wouldn't shoot anyone on a Monday or any other day, but I totally understand Monday blues. Actually, make that morning blues 'cause I'm just not a morning person.

One morning on the way to the office, I was my usual miserable self, wishing I was still in bed instead of shuffling like a zombie to the office. Then, on a whim, I stood aside and turned around. I was just outside the Raffles Place MRT station and if I had stopped without standing aside first, I would have been stampeded by the hordes of zombies behind me. After I stood still, I looked at the faces as they rushed past me. Not a single one had a smile or sparkle. Everyone had the same unhappy, sad expression. You know what? I wasn't the most miserable, not by a long shot. At least, I could still pause and laugh at other people's misery. Suddenly, I felt good! I continued my way to the office with a spring in my step and a smile on my face.

Meanwhile, Motor and Mel – the lucky devils – sleep in Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday . . . . Sigh, I sometimes wish I were a cat.

Have a good week ahead. Take care.

Check these out:

Grilled Cod with Miso	Chicken Feet Dim Sum	Steamed Pork with Salted Fish	Pork Blood Plasma

Cheesecake Brownies – Bring It On!

Another weekend, another recipe from David Lebovitz, a crazy American of Middle-Eastern descent (I think) living it up in Paris. A former pastry chef from Chez Panisse, he's a pro when it comes to baking. But he does other things as well, like making his own stinky kimchi. And eating durians and durian seeds, in Paris! Durian seeds are edible?! Told you he's crazy! I'm a Singaporean living in Singapore – in other words, a durian eater in the land of durian eaters. But I have never ever eaten durian seeds in my life. In fact, I didn't even know they're edible before reading David's post. Oh, shame on me! Note to self: MUST boil a durian seed and eat it; mustn't be outdone by CAP (Crazy American in Paris).

I was terribly impressed when I made David's Ginger Cake, which was very light, very moist, very gingery, and not too sweet. So, I dug around David's treasure trove and pounced on his version of Cheesecake Brownies. Compared to most other brownies/cheesecakes/cheesecake brownies, his recipe was much lighter with less sugar, less butter and less chocolate. At 285 calories per portion, it's really quite good for brownies. But, knowing Dave's style, I expected his recipe to deliver full taste and full texture. Crazy American did not disappoint; I had to take my hat off to him. The Cheesecake Brownie I made today was fudgy and chocolaty without being overly rich and heavy. Or rather, it's not heavy if you eat one piece . . . . Burrrp! Oops, excuse me! I didn't have just one, I'm afraid . . . .

It's all that Crazy American's fault! He's making me fat!

Check these out:

Fresh Ginger Cake	Chocolate Brownies	Gingerbread Men	Banana Bread

CHEESECAKE BROWNIES Source: David Lebovitz (Recipe for 12 pieces; 285 calories per piece) 85 g unsalted butter, cut into pieces 115 g dark chocolate, roughly chopped 130 g sugar (⅔ cup) 2 eggs, at room temperature 70 g flour (½ cup) 1 tbsp unsweetened cocoa powder ⅛ tsp salt 1 tsp vanilla extract 80 g dark chocolate, roughly chopped (½ cup) 200 g cream cheese (8 oz), at room temperature 1 egg yolk 75 g sugar (5 tbsp) ⅛ tsp vanilla extract Line 23-cm (9-inch) square pan with parchment paper, leaving some overhang. Preheat oven to 180°C (350°F). Melt butter and chocolate in a small pot over low heat, stirring till smooth. Remove from heat and beat in 130 g (⅔ cup) sugar, then eggs. Mix in flour, cocoa powder and salt, then vanilla extract and chocolate chips. Spread evenly in the prepared pan. Beat cream cheese, yolk, 5 tbsp (75g) sugar and vanilla extract until smooth in a separate bowl. Distribute mixture in 8 dollops across top of brownie mixture. Swirl mixture with chocolate batter to create . . . swirls. Bake until batter feels just set in the middle, about 35 minutes. Cool, then unmould by lifting parchment paper. Serve, keep in airtight container (for a couple of days) or freeze.

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