
Cast your mind back, all the way back to when you were five years old. Do you remember anything much?
Would you believe that a five-year-old child is capable of learning how to cook, and remembers what she's learnt when she's a 28-year-old adult? That a five-year-old can be instilled with a passion for cooking?
This is what Shermay Lee, author of
The New Mrs Lee's Cookbook and
The New Mrs Lee's Cookbook Vol. 2, says on her cookery school's
website:
'Shermay started cooking at the age of 5. She learnt the rudiments of cooking first from her grandmother, Mrs Lee Chin Koon, who was considered the doyen of Peranakan cuisine and was the author of the famous cookbook, Mrs Lee's Cookbook, a kitchen stalwart published three decades ago.'
And in her first cookbook:
'[My grandmother] instilled in me a passion for cooking from a very young age.'
What did five-year-old Shermay do in her grandma's Peranakan kitchen? Could her little wee

hands handle knives, ladles, or a mortar and pestle? Did she stand her little wee legs on a chair to watch her grandmother stir-fry
sambal in hot oil? What exactly did little Shermay cook? Would you, dear reader, let your five-year-old child boil an egg (assuming you could do so without being sued for child negligence)?
Why does Shermay Lee say she 'started cooking at the age of 5', which must sound totally ridiculous to anyone with common sense?
Two reasons: One, her grandmother was
Lee Kuan Yew's mother. Two, said grandmother very inconveniently kicked the bucket when Shermay was five. If little Shermay weren't cooking when she was five or younger, then she didn't learn anything from Lee Kuan Yew's mother. In which case, the only selling point for her cookery school and cookbooks wouldn't exist.
Shermay Lee's two cookbooks are an update of her grandmother's
Mrs Lee's Cookbook, which was published in 1974. The first updated recipe that makes me scratch my head is Bawan Kepiting, a Chinese style clear soup with crab meatballs. The stock is made with 300 g of bamboo shoot fried for two minutes, then simmered 10 minutes in 2.3 litres of water. And that's it, there's nothing else

in the stock except sugar and salt. It's so totally bizarre it can't possibly be correct!
What does Grandma's original cookbook say? Aaah, there's indeed an ingredient missing after her granddaughter modified the recipe to suit modern times. Is it an old mother hen? Some expensive dried scallops from Japan? Yunnan ham from China? No, the missing ingredient is – hold on to your chair! – two teaspoonfuls of MSG in the stock, plus another teaspoonful in the meatballs!
Wow, three whole teaspoonfuls of MSG, which work out to one-quarter teaspoonful per rice bowl-sized portion! That's a hell of a lot but at least the
soup MSG water tastes of . . . MSG. Bamboo shoot water, on the other hand, would taste of . . . water.
Curious, I check out the Pong Tauhu recipe to see if it's any better. Believe it or not, the soup containing meatballs made with beancurd and pork has almost twice as much MSG as the Bawan Kepiting. Almost half a teaspoonful per serving!
Good grief!Shock and horror aside, there's something in the Pong Tauhu recipe that makes me laugh: pounding beancurd with a mortar and pestle! That's like LKY totally obliterating his enemies, isn't it? Seriously, why pound beancurd? Just squash it with your hands or, if you want it really fine, push it through a sieve.

The recipe for Heepeow Soup is even more bizarre. The stock is made with 1.2 kg of pork or pork bones, which is nowhere near enough for the six litres of water used but at least it's better than a few shreds of bamboo trunk. Except the meat needs 1½-2 hours of gentle simmering to release its flavour, whilst big pork bones need 3-4 hours. The recipe, however, tells you to simmer for only 30 minutes. So it's just another pot of water, with or without MSG depending on whether you follow the grandma or granddaughter. There are, floating in the water, yellow (!) prawn meatballs deliberately jaundiced with artificial food colouring. Next to the weird looking meatballs float slices of pork maw which stink because piggy tummy can't be cleaned properly by just rubbing it with salt. There're fishballs too, made by beating 600 g of finely minced fish with a dash of pepper, then gradually adding 350 ml of water while stirring continuously, followed by beating the mixture till it's smooth, then adding one tablespoonful of salt. You know what? If this fish paste makes fishballs that are bouncy, I will – to borrow a colourful phrase from the Cantonese – chop off my head and let Shermay Lee sit on it!
Little Shermay 'learnt the rudiments of cooking' when she was five, eh? Judging from her soups, she didn't know the basics even when she was a 28-year-old adult. Neither did Mrs Lee Chin Koon who was supposed to be 'the doyen of Peranakan cuisine'. Did you know LKY's mother gave

cooking lessons to British and Australian expatriates? I hope they liked MSG and jaundiced meatballs!
Bad recipes are one thing but dangerous ones are another. If you make a raw fish salad with, as Shermay Lee instructs, 'fresh' fish bought at a
wet market, you have a 99.99% chance of being very sick, or dead. Fish and stuff not sitting on ice are quite common at markets, and there's filth and dirt whichever way you turn. Even if there's fish that's
sashimi grade, it's bound to be contaminated by something that isn't. Obviously, Princess Shermay has never been to less-than-clean wet markets where grubby commoners with questionable personal hygiene poke and prod everything. Well, why would she? Her cousin has his chef fly to Japan to buy some
sashimi, then fly back to Singapore! I'd guess her lifestyle is similar to his.
The New Mrs Lee's Cookbook, published in 2003, won two awards from
Gourmand World: Best Cookbook Award - Special Awards Category (English), and Special Award of the Jury in the Respect of Tradition. It was a bestseller in Singapore, as was the second volume published in 2004, and both books received strong reviews in a number of publications. Did the judges, reviewers and readers notice the appalling soups, the Satay Ayam Goreng that's boiled although 'Goreng' means fried, and the Mee Siam made without
assam?

These, along with deep-fried (!) Peking Duck, were award winning recipes?! For tradition?!
The recipe I'm sharing today is Babi Pongteh from
Cooking for the President. I've chosen this over the one Lee Kuan Yew grew up eating because his mother and niece say
babi pongteh has coriander powder whereas
babi chin doesn't. That is, of course, incorrect. It's
babi chin which has coriander power, and
babi pongteh which doesn't . . . unless Lee Kuan Yew has decreed otherwise? He might not have but if you're his relation, your cookbooks will win awards and you'll get paid to give lessons even if you can't tell your
babi pongteh from
babi chin. All you need to know is how to make bamboo shoot water, or add MSG by the bucketload.
Check these out:  |  |  |  |
| Pork Maw Soup | Ayam Sioh (Chicken with Coriander Seeds & Tamarind)
| Penang Achar (Nyonya Pickle)
| Babi Masak Assam (Pork & Mustard Greens in Spicy Tamarind Gravy
|