Tuesday, 22 April 2014
Black is mysterious. Black is sophisticated. Black is . . . sexy.
What makes my cake black? It's bamboo charcoal that's been pulverized into a very, very fine powder.
You can see what my charcoal cake looks like but you can't taste it. Let me taste it for you.
Chomp, chomp, chomp . . . .
Hey, charcoal cake tastes like regular cake! It's just like vanilla cake except for the colour.
Chomp, chomp . . . zzzzz . . . .
Did you know charcoal powder makes you sleepy?
I didn't the first time I ate charcoal cake. I had a (small) piece late in the afternoon, then another (small) piece after dinner. That night, I struggled to stay awake after 10 pm and had to crawl into bed an hour later. I don't usually retire till well after midnight.
Besides treating insomnia, charcoal powder is a good antidote. It inactivates poisons by binding with the toxins.
Did you hear about the woman who, after taking some poison to kill herself, decided to eat some charcoal cake?
Said woman figured she could eat all the cake she wanted since she was about to die. So she ate and ate and ate . . . not realizing she was eating an antidote to the poison.
Guess what? Yup, she didn't die because she ate too much cake. The moral of the story is: Good things happen to those who eat lots of cake.
OK, I just totally made that up. If you were poisoned, you'd need loads of charcoal powder, loads more than there would be in a cake or two.
Treating a gassy stomach, OTOH, doesn't need much. Inhale a big slice of charcoal cake and the excess gas in your tummy would be gone. Isn't that nice? You can still eat cake when your tummy feels bloated!
If you've just had a French manicure, remember to wear gloves when you're handling charcoal powder. OTOH, if your black varnish is peeling around the edges, you could rub some charcoal powder on your nails.
Run out of eyeliner? Hey, what do you think Cleopatra used? Maybe not bamboo charcoal but it was definitely charcoal of some sort around her eyes, on her brows, and as a teeth whitener.
Charcoal powder has so many uses. Isn't it wonderful?
Baking good charcoal cake is easy when you have my tried and tested recipe. Frosting the cake isn't difficult either. Remember less is more or the cake's unusual colour wouldn't stand out. A few blackberries would add a nice accent. Anything else would spoil the minimalist look . . . .
Hey, I just had a brainwave! I'm gonna serve charcoal cake at my funeral . . . well, I won't be there . . . I mean I will be there but . . . . I guess I'll have to leave instructions. There must be a cake for every important occasion, right?